Reflections on the Regis Mission, my personal mission, and Conceptual Change

THROUGH A CIVIC LEARNING LENS: Examining my experience at The Bridge and comparing it with the Regis Mission of "How Ought We to Live?" 
A synopsis of the The Regis Mission Statement: 
Regis University is a Jesuit University built upon Ignition Pedagogy–using personal gifts and faith to make a better world, providing excellence in education to the next generation (such as future degreed nurses), teaching ways to make ethical decisions, and performing Service Learning in communities. As Regis students, we are to reflect on our learning, pursue and disseminate truth and develop personal values that reflect the Regis mission.

• Education brings obligation; we have an obligation to live out our faith. We are called to live in the tradition of the Jesuit predecessors who founded the University: "For the Greater Glory of God," whether we are Jesuit Catholics or Protestants who have also heard the calling of Christ to bind up wounds and heal the broken.
• Catholic Moral Tradition teaches we live in communion with God and others; this communal relationship leads us to promote justice, work toward wholeness, and cultivate an environment where every individual is valued and enabled to flourish.

The Bridge Community Church, where I do Lay Counseling, is an environment the epitomizes the Regis Mission and the Gospel way of life. The Bridge is not a Catholic institution but it takes to heart and lives out many ideas espoused by Catholic/Jesuit teaching. Grace and unconditional love are paramount. For instance, in a study by the church pastor (Ben), these ideas were put forth:

• Paul is urging believers to live a life worthy of the calling they have received. What does this life look like?  Can this life be lived alone? 

• Remind learners that each local church is a visible reflection of the universal church. How does this truth change the way we might view the local church? 

1. Together, we want to know the truth of Christ (vs. 14) 

2. Together, we want to imitate the character of Christ (vs. 15)

3. Together, we want keep each other on mission (vs. 16)

The Bridge encourages continuing education and living lives of excellence, foremost by being in relationship with Christ, then by being educated in truth, imitating Jesus, and seeing every aspect of life as missional. Each person we encounter is someone we can share God's grace and love with.

The actions I have witnessed in my University–from professors/instructors and students– are similar to those I witness at The Bridge: caring, compassion, faithfulness, encouragement, and exhortation. The differences I perceive are not related to actions but to certain points of ideology and theology...yet I have not felt isolation or rejection stemming from these differences. This leads me to believe there are many ways and spheres Catholics and Protestants can work together, communicate together, and be family together. New dialogues should spring up between the believers...

CONCEPTUAL CHANGE: My actions compared with those at The Bridge
I consider myself a relative newcomer to The Bridge Community Church. I resisted joining in and being identified with institutional Christianity after being wounded by individuals who professed faith. I came to The Bridge broken, beaten down, and in despair. I felt as though God had turned away from me because I was unlovable and unlovely.

The people at The Bridge were gentle with me, and yet with each encounter they fed me truth and new perceptions of Christ. They took opportunities to address my woundedness; they corrected me when I had misperceptions and encouraged me when I felt like a failure.

As a result of these actions, and those of others, I found a new relationship with Christ. This is one reason I wish to help other women find freedom. I was bruised by past abuse and trauma...Christ said a bruised reed he would not break. From The Bridge Community Church, and people at Alpha Omega Christian Counseling, I have learned to give grace and tenderness in counseling. I have also learned the ways people believe misconceptions and lies, and I have learned ways to help people see through these deceptions.

From The Bridge leaders, I have learned servant leadership through: 

• conforming to the likeness of Christ.
• cooperation and community building.
• consensus promotion when working on goals.
• concentrating on loving others in community.
• contemplation and conquering the idols in our lives that keep us from relationship and mission.

From the women I counsel, I have learned:

• how to view suffering.
• how to help those who suffer.
• that wisdom at times comes from stillness, from seeking truth, and following that truth even through pain.
• how to trust my instincts and use them in my Lay Counseling (and future MHNP) practice. God has gifted me with insights (that is still difficult for me to acknowledge at times) and my clients have encouraged me to use those insights even in the midst of fatigue and discouragement.
• bravery...and perseverance in the face of great odds.

I have seen some of these women so transformed by opening themselves to what God would teach them about suffering– to overcoming their past and surrendering old resentments–that it propels me to become a better nurse, a better counselor (and future MHNP), and a better Christ-follower. I want to be like these beautiful women who love, in spite of their pain, and trust me to lead them to deeper knowledge of themselves and deeper relationship with Christ...and to eventual freedom.

Sharing in their tears as they face their trauma and abuse...listening to their deep secrets and assuaging their wounded hearts...watching as the "little girls" within them find healing...and being rewarded with shining smiles as God sets them free–are experiences that transcend words.

I learn to listen from listening...
I learn to see from carefully watching...
I learn to be attentive from giving my attention...
I learn to love from loving.

I view my Lay Counseling practice through the model of Philippians, chapter 4: 

• God knows we have anxieties and He desires us to pour out our anxieties to Him and to His agents, then to thank Him for His answers.
• As we pour out anxieties, fears, anger, and hurts, He pours into us His peace.
• When we feel God's peace, He brings us understanding of what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. When we fix our thoughts on these things, our our minds become transformed.
• As our minds (psyches) are transformed, we can put these new understandings into practice...which is mission. 
• As we do this–as we go on mission–we receive the God of peace.
• And the God of peace gives us the ability to do all things...because Christ gives us His strength.

What continues to catch my attention is the way God speaks to my heart and mind through my clients. Many times, when I go to Him in prayer with a concern or fear or problem, the answer or revelation comes to me through listening and speaking with a client. This requires me to stay aware, to be mindful, with each client at each session. It also keeps me searching for further knowledge in my field and further wisdom. I am transformed with each client, with each new nurse/client relationship. This way of seeing things has changed every aspect of my nursing practice, whether it is in an OB-Gyn setting, in disaster areas, or on mission with Dignity:Liberia. I approach people and relationships in a different light. I am less focused on performance from others–or performing FOR others–and more focused on developing relationships. Even when doing diabetic education or teaching seminars on trauma recovery, I am looking for ways to be relational, listening for hurts or needs within others and searching for ways to give grace. This may sound aggrandizing, but I assure you, it is not so. I fail many times, I fear many times, and I fall short of many goals. But God is faithful and true...He always does what is good, right, and perfect.

I have found I make assumptions at times, and at times those assumptions prove false. I am too impatient at times, in such a hurry to finish things...and those are the times I am led deeper into "stillness" and reflection...reminders to slow down, to enjoy the moment, and to savor the new life I have been given. 

These discoveries have enabled me to understand how others react or learn or grieve, how they experience joy and sorrow. By working through my own trauma and pain,  by surrendering to Christ those avenues of control and resentment that have kept me bound, I have been able to love in new ways. I have experienced personal and professional freedom.

I have also found that freedom can be a little scary at times. With freedom comes the obligation to greater self-control, and greater responsibility to those God has placed in my charge as a nurse. 

EVALUATION OF SERVICE LEARNING: What would I have done or said differently as a result of the Service Learning Experience?

• I would have spent more time re-learning psychological nursing assessments and how to initiate a session with a client.
• I am still working on writing Lay Counseling Training material. I would like to finish this soon and present it to The Bridge leadership. I feel as though I have been remiss in this respect. 
• I would have been more active in contacting the leadership directly for a perceived problem, although we did discuss the problem and came to a solution.
• In the future, I will be more proactive and less hesitant in voicing concerns or in keeping boundaries for my personal time and schedule.

I believe the leadership at The Bridge feels my involvement there as a Lay Counselor helps the organization. The leaders continue to refer people to me for Lay Counseling, we have a good ongoing relationship, and we hope to promote gospel-centered counseling even more in the future through training others. 

As I finish my education and become a MHNP, I hope to learn EMDR therapy and provide that as a further therapy tool for those who have undergone trauma and abuse. I plan to continue working with The Bridge as a free counselor/MHNP, going on mission with the Disaster Relief team, and leading teams with Dignity: Liberia to that West African country.

My education through Regis University has given me a better understanding of my calling as a nurse. It has informed me on justice, ethics, professionalism, community disease perception and treatment, health promotion, human dignity, and so much more. Each class has built upon the one previous and each instructor has added to my personal growth. Being a student at Regis University has blessed my life and learning.

 

Reflections on Lay Counseling as Service Learning

Lay Counseling Service Project

Context and Meaning of the Project:

The Service Learning Project I have chosen is actually something I have been involved with–in an increasing capacity–for quite a while. I do Lay Counseling at The Bridge Community Church network. My clients are women who have survived sexual assault and trauma and have been referred to me by a Pastor, elder, or church member who knows of my experience in this area. I set aside Tuesdays from 2-7 PM to meet with these women, hear their stories, and at times share a piece of my own story. I refer them to further professional counselors or therapists if the need arises. Typically, the church is a busy place on Tuesday afternoons and evenings, with pastors and staff coming and going, small group meetings and impromptu chats taking place in the halls. This is fortunate because at times, my clients need further assistance and the church members are happy to show love, kindness, and support. The lead pastor, small group leader, prison ministry leader and I have had some discussions surrounding how to further help these women and others who are in need of mental and spiritual support. We have also discussed the counseling model I use–based on the scripture found in Philippians, chapter 4–and how to train other Lay Counselors.
I cannot reveal the things my clients and I discuss due to privacy obligations, but many of them have found their voices by being unconditionally accepted and heard. Most of the survivors have never shared their experiences with anyone and have only come to see me because they are in despair. Their lives have taken an unexpected turn and they find themselves questioning everything about faith and the significance of life. Overwhelmingly, they feel unlovable and unloved by people and God due to their suffering. Some have experienced childhood abuses that bring tears to my eyes because they are unable to cry for themselves.
I began Lay Counseling at The Bridge as a restoration of the joy I found following resolution of personal pain and as an outgrowth of the addiction and reconciliation ministry Conquering Addictions (CA for short). Some of the CA curriculum addresses past abuse–including Child Abuse and sexual trauma–and the ways people continue to be influenced by their past.

• We respond out of who we have always believed ourselves to be, out of pain. 
• We tend to mistrust others and put up barriers against potential hurt. But when we build walls to shut out pain, we also shut out the joy of Christ. When we put up barriers against being wounded, we also shut out relationships and the chance to know grace and love.
• Women who have been sexually assaulted typically feel diminished self-worth and so have multiple relationships (or dysfunctional relationships) in search of value and acceptance. They may go through substance abuse and mental distress in various forms.
• By helping them see their inherent worth, dignity, and how much God loves them they find meaning and identity. By encouraging them to give voice to their anger and pain and grief–and ultimately release those things–, they find reconciliation and restoration; they find joy in a Father's love.

When I began this project, I made assumptions that everyone would react similarly, that everyone wanted to be mentally and spiritually sound and whole because they chose to come to me for counsel, but this is not the case.

• Some have been referred due to losses in life and yet they are unable to face truth or work through pain. 
• Some have come as referrals from a case worker at the Division of Family Services (DFS) because they have lost custody of their children, have no insurance, and know I will talk with them free of charge. Much of the time these clients do not want to be in counseling. They discuss all the ways society at large has mistreated them but they never truly look inward at the damage done to them, and the damage they do to others. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and so do not desire help beyond legal means. I feel sadness that these clients vacate any true hope or healing because they choose to stay in addiction.
• My assumption–that everyone seeing a counselor wants counsel–proved to be untrue. The discrepancy occurred due to my own experiences with counseling...projecting my feelings and experiences and choices onto another. I brought a bias into the counseling room at the beginning of my Lay Counseling ministry, but I have since learned to step back and let ALL my experiences and wisdom provide a lens from which to view the client and the situation.

Experience Interpretation:
 In my Lay Counseling I use academic material from past nursing classes (such as the information I gained in writing a paper on Bipolar Disorder) and combine that with the knowledge I am gaining on community nursing.

• I am learning to look at the whole picture of the community and how the client fits into the community. 
• As I continue to be mentored by other professional counselors, I am able to see a larger scope for my gifts and ways they can be a blessing–or ways they can be abused and become harmful. For instance, I have become versed in all levels of confidentiality and privacy, not only for clients and their family members but also for other counselors. Some therapists do not want my clients to know they have given me advice while others welcome the sharing of information. My clients sign a form which states our conversations are confidential unless I feel they are going to bring harm to themselves or others, or if I feel their mental health problems need further consultation from a professional (either a therapist or pastor). I stay within a specific realm for my counseling and the clients and church staff understand this, so I have referred people to trusted therapists. The form also explicitly states I am an RN, not yet a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner and so am a Lay Counselor. 
• Learning how to "step back" and only give the personal information that will help a client is another aspect of respecting privacy and the client/counselor relationship. It is also another aspect of community mental health (MH) nursing. Ways to provide personal information and the amounts to share change depending on the setting: a seminar, a support group, a therapy group, or private counseling session.

Community Culture and Needs:
The mental health needs of a community are reflected more in a seminar or support group or through an organizational survey. When setting up a Lay Counseling service at the church, we looked at the needs presented through the CA group, through the needs of the county MH Board, at the needs of the people who contacted the leadership staff of The Bridge, and met with a group of therapists who were willing to answer questions we had.

• Part of community mental health nursing is coming up with both "upstream" and "downstream" solutions to issues. As one of the founding members of the county MH Board I saw ways to provide primary, secondary, and tertiary interventions. 
• Examples of primary interventions are mental self-care, abuse prevention, education on addictions and how to prevent the problem, compassion fatigue, and parenting classes. 
• The church is working on secondary and tertiary interventions through small groups (Cells) and CA. 
• A community's culture affects the mental health of its citizens, for good and ill. In a rural setting, many times women who are abused and sexually assaulted are bound by secrecy. Families are loathe to disclose problems and abuses within their circles. Appearances are extremely important in small towns, where relationships are extensive and social prestige or position are part of everyday life and identity. Learning of these extended relationships with the rural community assists the counselor and nurse to provide the best culturally sound care. 

Understanding small town culture and experiencing it:
Small towns many times are viewed from the outside as the epitome of American Life–with fewer problems and ills plaguing them than plaguing a city. Small towns are also seen as intellectually lacking and the citizens as less competent or educated; both of the premises are lacking in depth. Small towns are a microcosm of the city with health and illness, intelligence and ignorance.

• The differences in small town and city culture are often due to a lack of resources within the smaller community, not due to a lack of intellect or interest. MH resources have dwindled in the past few years, especially in rural areas, along with many other resources such as employment, food service and industry.
• Believing culture and diversity are only found in ethnic groups or diverse racial groups is a fallacy. By refusing to see the cultural diversity of small, rural communities we refuse creative solutions to their healthcare.
• As I work with women who have been assaulted I have seen similarities and differences in their culture and familial experiences. Rich or poor, well-known or obscure, they all come from families where they felt powerless and helpless. According to well-known therapist and author, Dan Allender: 
• "We were helpless to turn our families into places of warm, nourishing relationships.
• We had not true power to stop the abuse itself from happening; our abuser made sure that avenues of escape were blocked.
• We were and still are helpless to end the relentless pain our our soul" (Allender, 2008, p. 91, workbook).

The service I provide in mental health counseling is extremely rewarding. I have been with women as they broke the chains of silence, as they poured forth the poison of anger and resentment brought on by the shame of abuse and rape, and as they found the healing of the Great Healer. One young woman was so changed by the newfound grace God gave her, she literally went from darkness to light. She glowed, she shined, she was transformed so much so that at times people didn't recognize her. She was able to laugh and cry and share. She sees a meaning to her suffering and is now sharing her story...THE story...of how God has changed her life.

In my next blog I hope to expound on the mission of my university (Regis): "How ought we to live?" and discuss how it compares with the mission of The Bridge Community Church network. I will also analyze my actions in comparison with others' and what I discover weekly about myself when I meet with clients.

Reference:

Allender, D. B. (2008). The Wounded heart: Hope for victims of childhood sexual abuse. 

Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress.

Allender, D. B., & Lee-Thorp, K. (2008, revised). The Wounded heart: hope for adult victims of childhood sexual abuse, a companion workbook. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress.